Jess hummed to herself as she bustled around the kitchen. Her friend, restaurant-owner Sarah Jackson, let her rent the space in the mornings for her catering business. Today, Jess had prepared some traditional pasta dishes for a Chamber of Commerce meeting across the street. The downtown location of Sarah’s restaurant was a definite plus.
She wiped her sleeve across her forehead to move her mousy brown bangs out of the way. Her limp hair always got in the way, and she had forgotten her bandanna today. Jess groaned as she realized she had probably smeared marinara sauce from the sleeve of her purple chef’s jacket onto her forehead.
She tossed the shrimp into the hot frying pan a little more forcefully than she meant to, and one skittered away. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself by resuming her song, but her outer calm was definitely not a reflection of the turmoil she felt inside. The recent documents from her divorce attorney left her feeling raw and isolated.
Michael had been her best friend, her confidant, her cheerleader. They had shared dreams and goals. She had worked around the clock, edging her way up the ladder at various restaurants in the city. She left her job as a sous chef at one restaurant to be a head chef at another. The owner of the new place had been a long-time fan and friend from college, and had made her a really good offer.
The shrimp sizzled in the pan and she sprinkled the minced garlic over it before adding the Alfredo sauce she had finished an hour before. Turning off the gas heat so as not to burn the sauce, Jess’ mind drifted back to her marriage and its failure.
The long hours of her work had given her limited time with Michael, who had climbed his own ladders in an engineering firm. They drifted apart over the months and years, became different people, and seemed to not fit together anymore.
“Why won’t you give me a family, Jess?” Michael had asked her one afternoon as they sat reading and sipping coffee. It was a rare day when they were home at the same time. She had done her best to schedule every Sunday off, but the needs of the kitchen often trumped the needs of her home. This day, she had started with a much needed bubble bath and sat in her robe, lounging on the white sofa with her book in her lap. He had gone for a run while she was bathing, showered when he returned, and sat in the matching armchair with his magazine propped up on the side. They had talked about having kids years ago, when life seemed full of possibilities and time seemed endless.
“I didn’t know it was in the plan,” she responded meekly, realizing afterward that it wasn’t really the truth. She hadn’t put it off intentionally, but motherhood would have definitely slowed down her career plans.
Jess mindlessly tossed the saucy shrimps with the already-cooked pasta before dumping it into a baking pan and sprinkled it liberally with an earthy blend of cheeses. She put the pan in the oven to melt the cheese while the memory continued in her head.
“Kids were in the plan, but you abandoned it.”
“I never abandoned it. The plan just sort of took over.”
Michael’s brows furrowed at this. “We were supposed to have a life together,” he fumed. “What we have is ‘lives’. You do yours. I do mine. There is no us anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’m lonely. I’m saying this isn’t what I signed on for. I’m saying…” he swallowed audibly, hesitating just briefly, “I want out.”
The words rang in her ears. Her throat tightened as she crafted a response. But what was there to say? How do you respond to a declaration like that?
“Out? Like, a divorce?” The words rasped in her throat. “Without a chance to fix it? Change things?”
Michael was on his knees in front of the couch before she realized he had even moved.
“Oh, Jess. I don’t want to change you. You have gone after everything you’ve ever wanted, and I couldn’t be prouder. But I’m not a part of it. There’s no room in your life for me, and I want more. This just isn’t what I pictured.”
The food trays finished, Jess began gathering them and getting them ready to load. Her sous chef, Kyle, was due in moments to help load and serve the food at the meeting. Still locked in memory, the visions and images of her decaying marriage drifted into view.
Not only had Michael admitted to being in an affair at the time, he confessed to multiple affairs before that day. His loneliness seemed to be apparent to everyone but Jess. Their friends were not surprised as they made their divorce public. Many had expressed surprise that it had lasted as long as it did. And as the divorce moved forward, his attorney attacked with vengeance, attempting to claim rights to her retirement earnings, her jewelry, even a portion of her future inheritance from her parents, who were still living. The joke of it all, to Jess, was that Michael had been slaving after his own career, been given partnership in an engineering firm, and won several national awards during their marriage. Not only was his salary twice hers, but he was the one with a personal property value. He had purchased a lake property, and a boat and several jet-skis to go with it. She hadn’t had time for boating or vacations.
Jess’ attention snapped back to the task at hand as Allison fumbled through the door. The door girl was an amazing administrative assistant, and the catering business would have died a quick and horrible death without her, but Allison’s lack of physical ability to stay on her feet for a full day terrified Jess. She had banished her from the kitchen on multiple occasions.
“How’s it going, Allison?”
“Oh, it’s alright today, Jess.” Allison also had a touch of a dramatic nature, and always sounded melancholy. She reminded Jess of Eeyore, from the Winnie-the-Pooh books. “Invoices are paid, and I’ll be making the deposits this afternoon, when you finish the job today.” She clutched the door jamb for support, hovering in the doorway so she wouldn’t be near the knives.
“Great! We on for dinner with my parents tonight?” Wednesday was Family Dinner Night at the Burovsky’s. Allison had been adopted into the family when she first moved to the area.
“Of course! I love your mom’s casseroles,” her eyes lighting with hunger. “Oh, and we have a new job. Felicity, at the Arts Museum, is planning a Chinese exhibit to open on Chinese New Year, and she wants you to cater the meal.”
“Excellent! I love Felicity’s events. They are always so original. I’ll text her this afternoon and set up a meeting.”
Allison leaned forward, as if planning to take a step. “Do you need help with that?”
“No!” Jess barked, much more forcefully than she had planned. Chuckling lightly she continued, “I mean, no, thanks. I’ve got this. Ready to load up and head over. Kyle is due any minute…”
A rush of cold air from the January temperatures interrupted her as the door opened, and a young, slender teen walked in.
“Hey, Jess. Cavalry's here. You ready?”
“Right on time. Let’s go.”
She wiped her sleeve across her forehead to move her mousy brown bangs out of the way. Her limp hair always got in the way, and she had forgotten her bandanna today. Jess groaned as she realized she had probably smeared marinara sauce from the sleeve of her purple chef’s jacket onto her forehead.
She tossed the shrimp into the hot frying pan a little more forcefully than she meant to, and one skittered away. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself by resuming her song, but her outer calm was definitely not a reflection of the turmoil she felt inside. The recent documents from her divorce attorney left her feeling raw and isolated.
Michael had been her best friend, her confidant, her cheerleader. They had shared dreams and goals. She had worked around the clock, edging her way up the ladder at various restaurants in the city. She left her job as a sous chef at one restaurant to be a head chef at another. The owner of the new place had been a long-time fan and friend from college, and had made her a really good offer.
The shrimp sizzled in the pan and she sprinkled the minced garlic over it before adding the Alfredo sauce she had finished an hour before. Turning off the gas heat so as not to burn the sauce, Jess’ mind drifted back to her marriage and its failure.
The long hours of her work had given her limited time with Michael, who had climbed his own ladders in an engineering firm. They drifted apart over the months and years, became different people, and seemed to not fit together anymore.
“Why won’t you give me a family, Jess?” Michael had asked her one afternoon as they sat reading and sipping coffee. It was a rare day when they were home at the same time. She had done her best to schedule every Sunday off, but the needs of the kitchen often trumped the needs of her home. This day, she had started with a much needed bubble bath and sat in her robe, lounging on the white sofa with her book in her lap. He had gone for a run while she was bathing, showered when he returned, and sat in the matching armchair with his magazine propped up on the side. They had talked about having kids years ago, when life seemed full of possibilities and time seemed endless.
“I didn’t know it was in the plan,” she responded meekly, realizing afterward that it wasn’t really the truth. She hadn’t put it off intentionally, but motherhood would have definitely slowed down her career plans.
Jess mindlessly tossed the saucy shrimps with the already-cooked pasta before dumping it into a baking pan and sprinkled it liberally with an earthy blend of cheeses. She put the pan in the oven to melt the cheese while the memory continued in her head.
“Kids were in the plan, but you abandoned it.”
“I never abandoned it. The plan just sort of took over.”
Michael’s brows furrowed at this. “We were supposed to have a life together,” he fumed. “What we have is ‘lives’. You do yours. I do mine. There is no us anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’m lonely. I’m saying this isn’t what I signed on for. I’m saying…” he swallowed audibly, hesitating just briefly, “I want out.”
The words rang in her ears. Her throat tightened as she crafted a response. But what was there to say? How do you respond to a declaration like that?
“Out? Like, a divorce?” The words rasped in her throat. “Without a chance to fix it? Change things?”
Michael was on his knees in front of the couch before she realized he had even moved.
“Oh, Jess. I don’t want to change you. You have gone after everything you’ve ever wanted, and I couldn’t be prouder. But I’m not a part of it. There’s no room in your life for me, and I want more. This just isn’t what I pictured.”
The food trays finished, Jess began gathering them and getting them ready to load. Her sous chef, Kyle, was due in moments to help load and serve the food at the meeting. Still locked in memory, the visions and images of her decaying marriage drifted into view.
Not only had Michael admitted to being in an affair at the time, he confessed to multiple affairs before that day. His loneliness seemed to be apparent to everyone but Jess. Their friends were not surprised as they made their divorce public. Many had expressed surprise that it had lasted as long as it did. And as the divorce moved forward, his attorney attacked with vengeance, attempting to claim rights to her retirement earnings, her jewelry, even a portion of her future inheritance from her parents, who were still living. The joke of it all, to Jess, was that Michael had been slaving after his own career, been given partnership in an engineering firm, and won several national awards during their marriage. Not only was his salary twice hers, but he was the one with a personal property value. He had purchased a lake property, and a boat and several jet-skis to go with it. She hadn’t had time for boating or vacations.
Jess’ attention snapped back to the task at hand as Allison fumbled through the door. The door girl was an amazing administrative assistant, and the catering business would have died a quick and horrible death without her, but Allison’s lack of physical ability to stay on her feet for a full day terrified Jess. She had banished her from the kitchen on multiple occasions.
“How’s it going, Allison?”
“Oh, it’s alright today, Jess.” Allison also had a touch of a dramatic nature, and always sounded melancholy. She reminded Jess of Eeyore, from the Winnie-the-Pooh books. “Invoices are paid, and I’ll be making the deposits this afternoon, when you finish the job today.” She clutched the door jamb for support, hovering in the doorway so she wouldn’t be near the knives.
“Great! We on for dinner with my parents tonight?” Wednesday was Family Dinner Night at the Burovsky’s. Allison had been adopted into the family when she first moved to the area.
“Of course! I love your mom’s casseroles,” her eyes lighting with hunger. “Oh, and we have a new job. Felicity, at the Arts Museum, is planning a Chinese exhibit to open on Chinese New Year, and she wants you to cater the meal.”
“Excellent! I love Felicity’s events. They are always so original. I’ll text her this afternoon and set up a meeting.”
Allison leaned forward, as if planning to take a step. “Do you need help with that?”
“No!” Jess barked, much more forcefully than she had planned. Chuckling lightly she continued, “I mean, no, thanks. I’ve got this. Ready to load up and head over. Kyle is due any minute…”
A rush of cold air from the January temperatures interrupted her as the door opened, and a young, slender teen walked in.
“Hey, Jess. Cavalry's here. You ready?”
“Right on time. Let’s go.”
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